moving on
i found my old journal from my senior year theology elective, "prayer and loss." i took this class the semester after my mom died thinking it would do me some good. we decorated our own pillows. we did a lot of meditating, which meant i got a lot of naps. and my favorite part, of course, was the journaling. the journal illustrated my grief process and my internal battle with losing my religion. i think after keeping it private for a year, i'm comfortable enough to share some old thoughts. links:
my current life

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9.4.02

me
get in shape
keep a good attitude
act responsibly
set priorities
BE HAPPY! SMILE :)
be yourself
assess yourself and make it work

my friends
let them know: love, grief, joy, anger
spend quality time
be helpful
LAUGH
make memories
treasures
get along always

my class
try your best
don't procrastinate
work hard
make an example
voice opinions
cooperate
"effort is key"

mercy high school
appreciate
make the most of it
jump at opportunities
spirituality
ENJOY THE YEARS
grow

my family
reach out
be helpful
show the truth
LOVE
stick together
lean on each other

my world
observe
break limits
concern
travel
explore


9.6.02

"if at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

"i think i can; i know i can"

i'm not quite sure what my greatest failure is. i know i've made a lot of mistakesin my life, many of which i regret.
i regret not spending more time with my mom during that final month. i was always out of the house: school, work, friends... preoccupation took my mind of things. i wanted to be happy.
perhaps somewhere in the back of my mind i thought she'd get better. in the other side, i knew she'd die. i'd love for her to come back. i've learned to move on.

"keep your chin up. you will get through this."

"be not afraid, for the lord is with you always."


9.12.02

*I think that in order to improve my faith in god, i need to start showing more respect. i "only love jesus on sunday," and that needs to change. i need to accept him in my everyday life and not just when i need something. god should be a priority in my life, not just someone i look to at my convenience. i need to let him take care if me and not try to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.

*